If you’ve never been overweight, this post might be interesting for you.
And, of course, if you are overweight and you’re anything like me, you’re probably interested, too.
Over the past year, I’ve lost about 60lbs. I did this by addressing the chronic inflammation in my body brought on by eating a diet high in processed foods and grains. I weaned myself off of sugar, then grains, then dairy, and then small little things for the AIP protocol (like nightshades, eggs, and nuts, etc).
In doing so, I’ve discovered an incredible well of will power. Will power I’ve truly never had before and didn’t know I had until I tried to do something this big. And I was pleasantly surprised with myself — and proud of myself — when I started to see the power of the changes I was making in my life.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am definitely weak sometimes. I make poor decisions and then I feel sick again. But I always get back on the wagon because I can’t fight with the numbers: In the past year, I’ve lost 60 pounds.
That’s like six bowling balls. Two or three kids, depending on their age. Twelve 5-lb bags of carrots. Half of an adult friend of mine. The list could go on.
And yet… I still feel like myself. In many ways, I still feel the same size. (And sometimes some body parts seem bigger now. But it’s interesting to note that that’s just in comparison to other body parts shrinking. Totally weird.)
But I know progress is happening. Some things fit looser and some things fit for the first time. I can sit with a book on my actual lap and read it (I’ll never forget the first time I could do that… I looked down and was absolutely shocked that the whole book was sitting on my lap and I could turn the pages and read it still), and I can kneel on the floor and sit on my heels and it’s actually comfortable.
I have about 60 more pounds to go before I am at a healthy, natural weight. I’d say I can’t believe I’ll get there, but when I look back on this year… I just made slow, eventual progress. I lived my life and stopped worrying about weight. I slept as much as possible, ate all I wanted of natural, filling foods, and the weight thing just kind of happened. I had to make hard choices about not staying up late to watch a TV show, or choosing to spend my Sunday cooking instead of relaxing doing something else. But it’s these small changes and choices that opened space in my life for natural weight loss to happen.
I am grateful for the weight loss… but I’m even more grateful for the change in heart. I used to be so disappointed in myself about my weight.
I would read fitness magazines looking for that one special idea that would help me FINALLY figure out this weight thing.
I would start new diets and workout things only to let them fade away again because I felt so crappy when I did them.
I would count calories with MyFitnessPal and only feel proud of myself when my numbers were in the red (as if that’s a good thing… red is DANGER, a warning, and it’s as true on that site as it is on a firetruck).
I would abstain from a particular food, telling myself it was “Bad,” but not realizing that by “Bad” I meant I was a bad person for eating it, not, It’s a food that damages me to the core of my body.
I know now that this is an unhealthy way to treat myself.
My body isn’t the enemy. It’s the victim of my modern choices.
And I wish that was the topic of magazines like Oprah and Women’s Health and whatever other trash is out there… but those covers wouldn’t sell.
My body doesn’t want to hang on to excess fat and eff up my hormones. My body doesn’t want to have trouble feeling rested in the morning, or get strung out obscene amounts of sugar from unnatural sources. My body wants to chill out and be fed food that’s easy to digest. My body wants to be able to rest itself often and spend time with the people it loves.
It doesn’t want to get pounded into the hardwood in exercise class after exercise class. It wants to move freely outdoors.
And if I don’t make space for what my body wants, it will rebel against me again.