This is the second part of a three-part series to celebrate JHubb’s and my first marriage anniversary. Did you read about how we met?
Now, let me just say for the record that college dating is crazy stuff.
There was a lot of drinking and music-listening, concerts and a little family-meeting, not to mention studying, reading, and traveling. I especially love that JHubbs invested a lot of time in our classes and a lot of time in our friends; We became more and more of a couple by interacting with and talking with friends, too.
A lot of our first year of dating was spent training JHubbs how to be in a relationship… and an equal amount of time was spent re-training me to be in a good relationship.
The book we credit 90% of our happiness habits to is Boundaries by Drs Cloud & Townsend. It taught us so much about interacting with each other’s families and laid wonderful groundwork for our marriage.
(Hint: You cannot make decisions based on your own values until you are your own person. Another hint: just assume your spouse is doing the best they can and did not mean to do or say whatever thing you are accusing them of intentionally doing or saying).
When college ended, JHubbs and I took up what would become a two year long distance relationship about two hours apart. It was awful, to say the least.
During this time I met a new best friend, learned and unlearned how to take care of myself, and realized teaching isn’t the career for me. And while distance relationships can often end badly, we were so lucky to both be on the same page in this: living separate lives without each other only confirmed our priorities, which made it all the easier to rearrange our priorities to be together.
And now for a mini rant: for all those folks who make it sound like moving for love or changing for love is a bad thing…. that’s just crazy to me! The life you live and the family you have all depends on choosing the right spouse for you. So why no make it a huge priority?
The support, love, and all-around unbelievable amazingness of JHubbs during this time only further convinced me I had found something truly special.
When the time came to really look for a new job, I knew my main goal was to get closer to JHubb’s city and get on with our lives together. I was so blessed to use my network to find the perfect new job in my hometown as a technical editor.
And once that fell into place, we knew it was time to take the next step….