While traveling to see an old professor at an alumni event, I got to thinking about the stereotypes associated with professors and I had a Bella-like revelation: maybe all professors ever are vampires!
CLASS DISMISSED photo source
Okay, maybe not, but here are my top 5 reasons they could be:
5. Professors have advanced so far beyond society’s simple human emotions that they only listen to classical and instrumental music. Much like vampires.
SCREAM-O SUCKS. BEETHOVEN SPEAKS TO ME. photo source
3. They can suck the life out of any party or conversation by maintaining silent eye-contact.
4. They dress in dark colors and suits. Sure, maybe it’s just flattering. Or maybe it hides the blood stains!
2. They know esoteric and random facts about centuries past. It’s uncanny.
DO YOU KNOW THE NAME OF EINSTEIN’S FIRST PET DOG? I DO. photo source
And the number one reason professors are vampires…
1. Their pasty-pale, translucent skin really does shimmer in the sun sometimes! No seriously… have you ever run into an outdoorsy professor?
I THINK I HAD THIS GUY FOR FRESHMAN ENGLISH 101. photo source